Responsive Language with Children

By: Hannah Arnold, EC-SEAT Scholar and Preschool Teacher

How we respond to children has a lot to do with how they respond to us. Treating children with respect and dignity goes a long way towards increasing positive behaviors in your classroom. We can treat children with respect and dignity through our everyday interactions and responsive language. Responsive language shows children that we believe in them by using direct language, which reinforces positive behavior.

Responsive language is a part of having a responsive classroom that fosters social and academic learning throughout the day. Using responsive language with children of all ages may seem like a gigantic step and can seem a bit overwhelming if you are new to the idea. However there are small steps you can take towards becoming more responsive. At first this type of language is very conscious and planned out. As you become more comfortable it almost becomes second nature. When first starting the use of responsive I found it most helpful to start with redirection. I really made a conscious effort to cut the word “No” out of my vocabulary. I felt that this was an easy step in the right direction, but it turned out to be a lot harder than I thought. I didn’t realize how many times I use the word, “No” when talking to children. Once I discovered how often I use that word I began to justify how much sense responsive language made. I mean come on, as and adult I find the word “No” discouraging and just think about how many times we tell children “No”, “Stop doing that”, or “You can’t do that”. Children don’t need to be bogged down by that negativity. They need to hear about what they can do, and what they are good at.

Since beginning the use of responsive language in my interactions with children almost two years ago now I have noticed an immense difference in how I view children and how they view me. The only word I can think of to describe this difference is respect. The children know what they can expect of me and they know what I am going to expect of them. Once you start using responsive language in your own interactions with children you will really start to pick up on unresponsive language. To this day I cringe a little every time I hear and adult saying “you can’t do that” when it is just as easy to redirect them and give them something they can do.

An example of this:

“Sandy, no you can’t jump off the picnic table.”

Versus

“Sandy, if you feel like your body needs to jump lets try jumping off the structure because we like to eat and put our food on the picnic table.”

Or

“No,  stomping or kicking your feet during circle Jeffery.”

Versus

“I notice some of you are ready to start moving your bodies why don’t we sing a song that we can move our bodies to.”

For more on responsive language as a part of a responsive classroom I have attached an article.

https://www.responsiveclassroom.org/article/want-positive-behavior-use-positive-language

Happy Teaching!

Hannah Arnold